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This is the worst sentence ever to be written.

Aye, on loan from Swansea.

The boy Congreve is a player. Is he on loan there?

I think that response shows you don't understand how VAR works at all. The only way to tell if a player is offside some, or all, of the time is to have a camera that's in line. That's why the linesman runs up and down. The reason that we have VAR in the first place is because of screaming twats from England shouting "there's daylight!" (between players), completely unable to grasp the concept that if you spin the angle round to in-line then parallax ensures that the daylight disappears. As we see on so many of these decisions, the calls are nearly always tighter than first thought. There are two things that need to be seen in order to make a call better than that of the linesman. The first is that they need to choose the frame at which to present the offside (which is your 20 seconds gone), the second is that they either need a camera angle that is in line or lines added to remove parallax effect. Otherwise they are in a significantly worse position to make a call than the linesman. I'd be absolutely fuming if I was a linesman, having calls made by some cunt with a dodgy camera angle. The TV cunts should have been able to show VAR lines years before we were subjected to its shite on the pitch. At that point they would have realised that they were pointing out things that were 20cm off or on, and that all their pathetic whining wasn't really worth it. Have a look back at the offsides this season if you're bored. Try and find a single one where the linesman has it wrong, and the player is off by more than, say, half a yard. You won't find one. Or you might find one. If we're subjecting offside to the nebulous concept of "clear and obvious" as you seem to be suggesting, then we'll have as many of those calls as we do for the ball crossing the goal line. In other words, we'd be paying an absolute shite tonne of money for two decisions. Your idea wouldn't make VAR easier to live with because all it does, like it does already, is change the point of controversy. It doesn't somehow solve subjective decision making. The manufactured 20 second pish would likely see an end to spontaneous celebration completely. Because it's such a short wait, folk will instantly stay in their seats, or do some good awful "ohhhhhhhhhh"ING for the short period until they can cheer. It will become the celebration in and of itself. That's what VAR is and does, it's an entire abstract entity that sits above and away from the fitba game. Hovering above it like a slimy fucker, desperate to inject itself into the conversation, like the weird colleague that keeps attending the nights out, standing in the corner with their hand on their crotch. It's a cunt technology for cunts. It can't be made better.

Could anyone imagine Simon Murray's athletic body, beautiful hair, but with Stuart Armstrong's face? Tidy as fuck.

I was actually quite impressed with Dundee when they played us up here in September. Thought they tried to pass the ball about and play a bit of football, but just lacked the quality and experience and we were able to exploit it. Thought the scoreline flattered us a bit that day, but I wasn't complaining. I work with three Dundee supporters and they are actually quite sound. None of them are overly impressed with Pressley though, but I think they are more frustrated with their owners than the actual team and none of them wanted Tony D gone.

Gingerism - That's a new one on me. He's nae quite up with Davie Dodds in levels of ugliness and he's a pain in the arse on the pitch, so I would take it as a compliment if I were him. I wouldn't have minded him here. Could we find better, probably if we looked hard enough, but he would probably have worked in Thelins one up front role.

That’s a fair challenge. No need for a personal insult for sure. Rash comments that are definitely born from the frustration of how he plays and the problems he causes us. Size is a relative concept, me being a tall ugly bastard.

Lindsay Lou and the flatbellies - Roll with me

Pleased for Root , remember where I was watching him get his first century for England. Managed to see tail end of this one. I was confused by the timing of it, a night day test Australia time had me completely confuddled. I see it like you do. McGrath the mouth saying it’s a mistake. Also meant to say - isn’t the Gabba normally the opening test? Am I imagining that? Why the change?

Simon? I’m confused as he’s 6ft? Would have taken him at one point. Cheap punt better than Ambrose. Was also a spell there that he should have been given a shot for Scotland. He was no worse than anyone else and actually scoring goals regularly. I always admire his work rate. This will be a controversial take, deep breath - pretty sure there’s an element of the guy getting looked down in part because of gingerism. Not all but I think it plays a part. i mean look at this post - “ugly little bastard”. Nae need.

Impossible to tell how this goes, and mitov symbolizes the team. Could be good could be piss poor. Results have been good for the most part recently, but I think we’ve been fortunate. At the same time I still think we can click and play well. 2-1 us, karlsson and lazetic

You can be sure that Dundee will be shelling his 6 yard box constantly to put him under the pump. That ugly little bastard Murray will be all over him.

Lucinda Williams - Get Right With God

Change in the table over a couple of minutes last night was gutting.

I thought Suman looked decent when saw him play for Cove last season but only saw him once for us this season which was in KDM game against Spartans where he made mistakes to give Spartans their first two goals. Don’t think Mitov is needing dropped yet anyway but from his time at Cove think Suman would be a good enough back up.

Paul Johnson - Get Get Down

Frustrating that in a minute we go from being 2 points off the hun to 5 again.

Another for the insomniacs Cruzeiro v Botafogo is on Premier Sport 2 just now.

*18 seconds with time added on

Back in the game. Thanks tlg1903 for dragging the corpse of Ajja out the river. Nobody listen to what that dick Ajjadeen says, he’s a total imposter.

I’m assuming VAR is about money and the league gets money to use it? I say that because I don’t see how anyone can argue it has made the game better. I’d argue we now have more debatable goals ,uncertainty on clear and obvious, delays, and the biggie for me, I don’t celebrate goals any more because you now have the ‘stress’ of a possible VAR check. I know decisions go for us and against us, and over time they may well even out, but VAR clearly has not improved the game or the fan experience. As I said, I assume it’s because of money that we have it and are stuck with it.

Definitely not calling for him to be dropped as Suman is not the answer. Just want him to pick his own game up again.

VAR hasn't cut out the mistakes that it was meant to, so by that metric alone, it has failed. Factor in the sheer nonsense of the time it takes to make a decision, which sucks all enjoyment out of the games, then it has been an unmitigated disaster. Outwith what we see in games involving either of the cheeks, I think mistakes by refs were part of the game and usually evened themselves out over a season. For me, VAR can get to fuck and when it reaches its destination, it can fuck right off again.

Too many moving parts for them to solve this easily. Combination of piss poor referees who aren’t paid a full time wage to do the job and then players who are hell bent on gaming the system every minute of every game without punishment makes competence and quality difficult to find. Add to that the cheap shit tech we have invested in and you are pushing water up a hill with a fork. What pisses me off is that VAR is basically a construct introduced to appease the big money investments in the game. Those who put their cash in are less and less prepared to throw the game to chance and want certainty in outcomes. They seem to have stumbled on exactly the opposite. Money has fucked the game.