mizer

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/footbal...86908-20138422/ 1. Which player is most likely to check his rating in Record Sport on a Monday morning and throw a fit? It's got to be Zander Diamond. The big man thinks he's a fans' favourite so anything below eight and he's absolutely gutted for the rest of the week. 2. Lookalike. Name a player who thinks he is the double of someone famous. Jamie Langfield has been getting slated for so long for looking like the guy that haunts the train in the award-winning film Ghost. At first he wasn't having any of it but now he's come round to the lads' way of thinking. It's amazing what perseverance can do. 3. Name someone in the dressing room who has a hidden talent which they could make a career of outside football. That boy Dan Smith pulls so many birds he could become aporn star at the drop of a hat. 4. What's the biggest rammy you've been involved in or witnessed? When I was at Dundee the year we got relegated we were losing 3-0 at half-time up in Inverness and the pressure was on. As usual the kitman had laid out cups of tea for everyone but the boss Jim Duffy smashed his off the floor and it came back to him. If it wasn't that serious it would have been funny. 5. Which player is a walking sleeping tablet with his chat? My travelling companion Lee Miller. If I've not had a good sleep the night before I just need to sit next to him on the train up to Aberdeen the next morning. All he ever talks about is his own wedding next year - it had better be good. 6. Who's most likely to bully the younger players about? It has to be myself, Miller and Diamond. Whether we're redesigning their clothes or getting them with the classic practical jokes they know they need to watch their back. 7. Tell us who thinks MENSA is a new brand of gents aftershave. Rumour has it that Jamie Langfield has already been down to the shops in Union Street checking the price of it. 8. Which player has had the strangest job before turning pro? Yours truly. I can exclusively reveal I used to deliver Indian takeaways in Carnoustie on a Saturday night and ripped off customers for an extra tip. 9. What's the best football put-down you've heard and from whom? Remember Craig Bellamy? Well, at Dundee we were at Celtic Park one day and Lee Wilkie and Bellamy were going at it. Bellamy had a strange accent but I'm sure what he said to big Lee was that the difference between him and Wilkie was the mere matter of a few million quid. 10. Who could hold their own on the stand-up circuit? Without fear of contradiction Tam McManus. First thing in the morning he would stroll into Dens Park and have the place in uproar. He's your typical lad from Glasgow and he knows it. 11. Who would bankrupt the swear box? Our youth coach Neale Cooper. Every second word is guaranteed to be a swear word. 12. Dirk Diggler or Tinky Winky? My old Dundee team-mate Calum McDonald, who's now at Peterhead, wasn't nicknamed "the Horse" for nothing. 13. Who'd make a good Big Brother housemate and why? Wilkie is quite a handyman. Anything that goes wrong he could fix it in the house. It's quite reassuring to see him turn his hand to so many other things. 14. Any phobia sufferers at Aberdeen? Langfield panics at the slightest bit of turbulence in mid-air. Madrid here we come! 15. Who's the biggest bird puller on a night out? No prizes for guessing Dan Smith - nobody else even comes close.

Aye, I got cured fae the bad aids. I had to drink the blood of a virgin and then spend hours chained up in an Ethiopian church getting drenched in holy water by a naked old woman with saggy boobies.

It finished 1-1. Byrne apparently had a good diving header and took the goal well. However he was doing the usual Byrne mistakes, I'm sure Jute will give full details in the morning

Scotland B's 0v1 Ireland B's @ Airdrie - Byrne scores Had other good attempts too!

As long is its nae bad aids again

I've just spent the night sweating and coughing like fuck. Nae good. Looks like it is just a 24 hour thing, I'm starting to feel better. Jute was saying he felt shit too last night, sharing all those hip flasks on the train was a bad idea!

Slightly different as numerous people confirmed that they knew who he was as they posted his initials, and said that they worked with him. I really don't think they are on the wind up, have some respect. Only one person knew the story, the rest worked with him formerly. And said person is friends with the wind up merchant who was on there last week, so I was dubious about the story. I also found it strange that none of his friends posted up about this before now as he has a well kent name. And confirmed they'd heard that too... Tbh if someone I knew who posted on a chat forum died I doubt I'd post up about it. Redbrigade heard it from former collegues, he is the only source posting.

I'm feeling crap, my friend had a bug that put her out of action for a week - and I saw her on Saturday just after she recovered. I better nae have that

Slightly different as numerous people confirmed that they knew who he was as they posted his initials, and said that they worked with him. I really don't think they are on the wind up, have some respect. Only one person knew the story, the rest worked with him formerly. And said person is friends with the wind up merchant who was on there last week, so I was dubious about the story. I also found it strange that none of his friends posted up about this before now as he has a well kent name.

Hey if he has passed away I feel sorry for his family. However I would point out that someone on Jambostwatback pretended to be dead and had his family say he had died of cancer, so its not like its unprecedented.

Another video direct from globeredTV, Zander Diamonds goal from the game http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=79R6cS_alsc

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt01eNVmnZY

They did contact the supporters clubs. Dunno what your complaining aboot anyway min

I feel bad for thinking this, but this is just like one of his many wind ups..!

I honestly cant think what it is called

Tbh reekie, we played worse against Killie at the start of the season. Today was an utter shamble as hearts were willing to exploit our many weaknesses which I fear will appear again.........

Sone Aluko tra la la la la, Sone Aluko tra la la la la, Sone Aluko tra la la la la, he looks like the candyman and scores all the goals

Indeed, I wasnt expecting more than a draw on thursday

Aye same for us, doon the boozer for lunch htne bus up the road. Hope the weather isnt too crap during the game as I'm is section X off the SS

Fit bus you on? Capital1903 or the Globe bus?

Aye, looking into a solution for you

Is Mrs Chunk talking to you yet?

Gutted I never mad it up to Aberdeen today, would have loved to see the vengance for the 1st game of the season