simarooskimoose

When I worked in Dundee, a colleague of mine came back in the office after lunch one day c2014 and asked, "is there a Dundee United player called Gary Mackay-Steven?" "Yes, yes there is". "Is this him?" She's got a picture of GMS sitting in a car at Asdas on the Kingsway. It's him alright. "He was sitting eating grated cheese straight out of the bag." Sadly I don't have the picture myself, but it is one of my favourite footballer anecdotes. Welcome Gary!

Was it last year when that International Sausage stand appeared up the back of the Souther, or the year before? Whenever it was, I got one the first game I went to. It wasn't that good, but we won. So I had to get one the next time, and we won again. Repeat for a few weeks. Eventually I thought, this is daft, I don't even like these sausages. So I didn't bother. That week we went behind to Dundee and only secured a draw thanks to a last second Jack goal (I think). That sealed it. I had to get one of those bloody sausages every week. And every week my folks would joke about it being the same one I'd got the week before. Worked, though. I don't know if anyone was quite as happy as me when International Sausage disappeared.

Appears they've sacked him, but are keeping him on until they find a replacement Fairly bizarre situation. Find it weird the way they've done it all so publicly as well, with the endless statements on the website - you don't often hear clubs actually saying "win at the weekend or you're toast pal" out loud in front of everyone http://www.yorkcityfootballclub.co.uk/news/article/2016-17/club-statement-3355275.aspx

I picked the Ravens because they were the first team I went to see (a home win against the Steelers, which helped). I was also really into The Wire at that point, and somebody had a sign that said "re-elect Mayor Carcetti". Sealed the deal. I was over in the states for a mate's wedding last year, and ended up going to college games on the Friday and Saturday nights (SMU and Longhorns), the Cowboys game on the Sunday night, flew across to San Diego for Chargers-Bears in Monday Night Football, and then headed home via New York for Thursday Night Football vs the Bills. It wasn't actually as expensive as you'd think, internal flights are pretty affordable - stadium beers less so!

One that I'll possibly never forget was that midweek game against Inverness, I believe it was the one where Alan Muir faked an injury at half time because he was getting so much stick, and the fourth official had to take over. So in that game Josh Magennis, who as we all know was a complete horse nine touches out of ten, scored an absolute wonder goal - controlled the ball and turned the defender with one touch, then chipped the keeper. Obviously everyone went mental - all except the lad who sits in front of us, who was so flabbergasted that he didn't even move. He just didn't react at all. I think his brain wouldn't let him believe it had happened, it was like watching a computer freeze up. It was about a full minute later that he turned around with a look on his face like he'd seen a ghost, and made this exploding gesture next to his head with his hands. Don't think he's ever been the same since. That time Alan Combe threw the ball off the back of Darren Mackie's head and it bounced back into the goal was a classic too. Especially given the Dazzler celebrated it like he'd done it on purpose.

I was actually at a game in New York last year (Jets Bills, Rex Ryan's homecoming), and think I baffled some of the folk sitting around me when I sat stony faced for most of the game, and then went absolutely wild celebrating a Decker touchdown because he was in my fantasy team. As an aside, I have been to 10 NFL matches, of which the home team won two. 2-8, I'm like the Jaguars or something. The Ravens running game has been pretty tragic ever since Ray Rice turned to shite and, y'know, domestic abuse. Forsett had a purple patch but didn't look like anything special this year. Looking like West will be the workhorse back for the next few weeks - the lad Dixon has potential, but he's not Todd Gurley, they'll look to ease him in slowly I reckon.

The Giants are such a confusing team this year. Seem to have three genuinely good WRs, the run game isn't dreadful despite all the injuries (the lad Darkwa looks decent), and the D is doing fine, but somehow it just never seems to come together. Is it Eli?! I've got a bit too fixated with my fantasy team I think. It almost spoils RedZone slightly, I spend half my time shouting "don't throw it to him for fuck's sake! Throw it to Fitzgerald, I need this!" I also have Baltimore's kicker this year, Justin Tucker, so I find myself half hoping for my own team to grind to a halt around the 35 yard line so he can tonk in a 50 yarder. I'm almost disappointed when we score!

I think it was a 1-0 win against Rangers in the mid 90s. I think. Stephen Glass scored. Only thing I really remember for some reason is that at some point Billy Dodds put Andy Goram into the net along with the ball, and it wasn't allowed as a goal. Other than the fact I was sat behind a pillar and thus missed the goal, I don't mind very much. Too many beers in the intervening 20 years I suppose.

The thing with the Saints is, their defence is terrible (and basically has been since the year of the Superbowl win and "bountygate"), but they're always good with the ball because Brees is a monster...so their games tend to end up being epic shootouts, great to watch. Last weekend they beat the Chargers 35-34, was a cracker.

I went to see La Forza Del Destino in Geneva once. We were there on holiday and I got the girlfriend tickets for her birthday. We both got some pretty intense Swiss flu the night before - I actually spent half the night hallucinating a conversation with John Swinney, who I was convinced was a time-traveller - so I had absolutely no idea what was going on. Think the regulars were a bit baffled why some Scottish lad was in there sweating like a racehorse while shivering and occasionally blacking out. Decent singing though I guess.

A mate of mine who is a Hibs fan got shouted at by a drunk Aberdeen fan who was dressed as Santa when he was wee. He's never forgiven us or indeed Santa

Bit of a zombie-bump, but wanted to see if there were any other NFL fans on here...! This season is weird. Doesn't seem to be a clear-cut frontrunner outside of the Patriots. Surprise package for me are the Vikings - bizarrely look really strong, while lacking their franchise QB and RB. Atlanta seem like a surprise contender too with that hyper-powered offence, D could let them down a la last year's Panthers though. Denver actually look decent again, still got that defence and seem to have actually upgraded at QB and in the O-line. I'm a Ravens fan, was entirely prepared to be shite again this year but actually look OK. We were described as "the worst 3-0 team ever" prior to the game against Oakland, but came bloody close to going 4-0 against a very decent side there. Still doubt we'll mount much of a playoff run mind. Oh, and nice to see the BBC pushing more coverage of the sport. A Saturday night show after MOTD on top of the Tuesday highlights one, and three live games a season now. I still get most of my fix via GamePass/RedZone though!

I've been reading quite a lot the last couple of years. I sit and stare at a screen all day at work, so I feel a bit bad going home and staring at the telly all evening. Still do it more often than not mind. Basically what I do is go in to the charity shops here in Edinburgh and just buy a stack of stuff more or less randomly from the Classics sections. Which generally has mixed results! Last one I finished was Closing Time by Joseph Heller, which is the sequel Catch-22. It's set in the 90s, and basically follows the characters from the original as they're dying...which is obviously quite melancholy, but it's also very funny in parts, and I absolutely love Catch-22 (might actually be my favourite book ever) so it was nice to spend a bit more time with those characters. Best thing I've read this year was The Affirmation by Christopher Priest. It's pretty weird, a sort of sci-fi examination of self-perception, but it's ace. There's a twist at one point that literally had me swearing out loud, rather startling the girlfriend.

I liked some of the rather heavier metal when I was a bit younger. Stuff like Lamb of God, Amon Amarth, Vader. Still quite enjoy bands like Iron Maiden, especially if I have to walk to work quickly, but mostly listen to instrumental post-rock style stuff now (can't really be arsed with singing in music at all). Still sometimes err on the heavy side, the likes of Russian Circles and Alpha Male Tea Party - would highly recommend either of those to folk, the latter have a song called 'You Eat Humous, Of Course You Listen To Genesis' which features more great riffs than most bands manage in their careers.

Another refugee here. Bizarrely the username 'simarooskimoose' hadn't been taken already?