rocket_scientist

Remember to tip your postman. And your paperboy/girl if you have one, not that many still get newspapers. It’s shocking how the majority don’t give a tip. Miserable cunts. Tip your postman the morns morn and you’ll probably win the lottery. That’s how it works.

Here’s why being nice works. Some cunts are only “nice” at Xmas. My neighbour works in O & G and is away for a month at a time. Whenever he’s back he hands in a stack of films he’s copied onto DVD’s and I when I seen him last week, gave him a bottle of the cheap Asda champagne that we usually stock up on at Xmas. I was giving him the spiel about blind tasting and value for money etc. when he told me he was on the case as he’d just bought some that day as it had been reduced by 50%, to £8 a bottle. I went over and spent £192 on 2 dozen bottles, a saving of £96. Not that we need that much but we have a full hoose and it’s nice to know we won’t run out. I just hope we have a heap left over to enjoy after our teetotal January. Every time you do something nice or positive for someone else, the karma bounces back with interest. Not just in trivial matters like this but in everything. There’s a lesson in there somewhere.

Fuck him. Guffy hun poof cunt.

My wife is annoying me now. She knows I’m bah humbug at this time of year and so to go to lunch with her mates today, she’s wearing this Xmas stuff in her hair and her earrings are like wee red boxes that obviously have a wee bell in them. Every time she moves, there’s a tinkling rattle. I’ll give her her due. As I was imploring her to get that shite aff, she says won’t, and anyway, I’m not going out with you. The killer was “I’m going to jingle when I mingle”. It might have made me laff if I wasn’t so buggered of the hum variety.

Xmas jumpers annoy the fuck out of me. Our 16 year old, and indeed the whole school, were told to wear an Xmas jumper to school today. She didn't have one and when we were going to toon yesterday - us three to eat, her to go shopping - she said she was going to buy one. Are ye fuck, I counselled her. It's her money she can do what she wants argued her mother. I gave it my best shot for the rest of the drive in and I was pwoud when she did not purchase said item. Don't see the point for something I'm only going to wear one day a year she said. If you're wearing said jumper this year, not only do I not like them, I don't like you. Bah humbuggery.

Gaylord wasn’t in use in Abz schools in the 70’s. Poof was the only game in town. It’s more an attitude and a sense of humour, being Eberdeen. It’s definitely still healthy in the real world but dying out online with so many young thick fucks posting. Last month when they banned me from here, I got the message whilst in my room at the Ritz. I thought that deeply ironic, without thinking through what the irony might be. At least they telt me I was banned and why, even though I don’t agree. Cunts over there never bothered. How un-NE is that? We done the Dorchester, the Savoy and the Ritz the last 3 years. Never again. The Ritz was the worst. Establishment England and not worth the money. Interesting to see how the 1% play but terribly tragic seeing grown local men, good cunts underneath it all kowtowing to us all in their menial concierge and doorkeeping roles. Fuck England and fuck the establishment. That’s not even NE anymore. Feeble cunts voted Tory.

I was tempted to write “fuck off ye poof”. You would probably be one of the few who would have got it. Being Eberdeen and of a certain vintage. It’s alarming how a busier AFC webchatspeaksite is populated by so many non-Eberdeen mutants. Posted back there after they banned me from here. Now they’ve banned me from there again. For 10 days. Even the moderating isn’t Eberdeen these days. World’s turning to shit. Jerry Sadowitz said it best. His opening line at the music hall was “Britain’s gone gay”.

Daughter 2 is home for Xmas and she had some interesting views about the orange pig in the white house. He is such a child. Just when you think he can’t get any worse, he does. He’s getting more orange by the day. For me, his “we don’t care” line yesterday is the saddest aspect about him. He genuinely doesn’t care about peace and progress. Prosperity at a concept is only there to enrich himself. Very sick man. Very sick times.

This year is going to be an interesting “present” for my wife. Our two eldest live in London and the wife doesn’t know our eldest is flying home on Sunday. It’s the first time for 2 or 3 years when all 6 of us will be together. Can’t wait to see her face when he walks through the door. The rest of us know.

That’s kind but it wasn’t necessary. I insisted to all my kids that they don’t buy me anything, ever. Easy sell because they despise me anyway.

Patience and attention spans are two different qualities. Just as discipline and intellect are. McInnes must set out to win this game, not set out to not lose. The timing couldn’t be better. 4-1 v. Hibs was the best performance I’ve seen from AFC this century. Celtic got horsed by Hearts. If he doesn’t want, believe and expect to beat them now, he never will.

2008 was the last one I went to. They’re not proper meetings. They’re an inconvenience for Milne. Loadashite.

This year, I’ve decided not to buy any Xmas presents. It must be over a quarter of a century ago since I bought my wife one. Our philosophy is if we want or need something, we buy it at the time. A religious festival highjacked for commercial reasons will not dictate our purchase-timing decisions.

Never seen any of the Star wars films so can't do any spoilers for you. Went to Ai Weiwei's Human Flow tonight. Harrowing. Sobering. Not that "sobering" as such in that we were able to buy and drink alcohol during the film! Never done that before. Belmont. Very pleased that I went to the film but can hardly recommend it to you. Not that kind of film. Gives a real and very hard-hitting perspective of one of the biggest human tragedies on the planet today.

I would’ve spent a wee bit more to get it right. No excuse for design ugliness. The first lawsuit on behalf of a traumatised child in Inverurie or Dyce will produce regret in the boardroom.

Was it necessary to have unfortunately-shaped and aesthetically-pathetic mouths on the ducks? The eyes have not been proportionalised. I guess the side on shite is to compensate for a flotation design weakness. Christ AFC, ye canna even get this right!

Fucks at got te dee wi Deek like? “In character, in manner, in style, in all things, the supreme excellence is simplicity” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow “That's been one of my mantras - focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it's worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains” Steve Jobs

“Dealing with complexity is an inefficient and unnecessary waste of time, attention and mental energy. There is never any justification for things being complex when they could be simple” Edward de Bono

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication” Leonardo da Vinci

If that's the exact moment May passed it, yes he was offside. That never even crossed my mind at the time.

Great to hear SeaBass. The pavements were so bad we decided to jump on a bus at the top of Merkland Road rather than walk for half a mile after the game. Later that day when I walking down Union Terrace, I slipped yet again, twice in quick succession (but luckily didn't ever fall), and a young black lad caught my arm to steady me. Great to see some good caring people left in the world. WTF is it with the city coonsil. Pavements were ALWAYS gritted back in the day. Fucking disgrace if you ask me.

The key point is the precise time when May rolls it past the defenders left leg. It's ok to back heel and run offside but as long as he was onside when the pass was played, it's a goal. It was a goal. It is a goal. It will always be a goal.

Spent time over the last 3 weeks watching Peaky Blinders. Now caught up with every episode of all 4 series so far of something I’d never heard of a month ago. The best UK-made drama/gangster stuff I’ve ever seen. Absolutely outstanding.

Agree on all points B.B. Very rare for me to watch two let alone three full games on a Sunday but the weather made for an easy decision. Citeh are such talented technicians. The speed of their passing and the instant control reminded me of Barca back in the day. Loved the Hibs fightback. The diff between them getting 2 x consecutive 2-2’s v. them and us is purely down to manager mentality in my opinion.

In Lecce 5 or 6 years ago the local Gelateria called its chocolate ice cream “Obama”. I kid you not. Wonderful part of the world. Naebody spoke English - authentic southern Italy - and naebody obviously had even heard of political correctness.