Superstar Tradesman

£125 a head? Doesn't seem that steep to me. You'll easily spend that in town on a Leo Sayer. Pub lunch, few pints, cheeky punt at the bookies, chip supper, strippers, onto the shorts, nightclub, kebab, taxi hame.

Personally i think most of thatteam stinks.

For all the love I hAve for one of my heroes, I can't say I'mn that bothered he's been ditched. If he was that good a goalkeeping coach then he'd have ditched his job when the likes of Preece, Langfield and Bossu failed to make the grade. In fact, if you mashed them all up into a goalkeeper, would all three of them manage to convince you they were a good keeper? Even Jim and Kjaer did a better job in the3ir 40s that the aforementioned new bucks. Preece never got any better at comming for crosses, Langfeild still can'#t kick a ball past the halfway line and Bossu....... well Bossu-schmossu. So much for Jimbo's coaching. Just about every other team in the legue has had a 'keeper playing for them that we'd jump at the chance to have. Like Gordon, boric, Zaluska, Speroni......... fuck, we#d even have taken Combe. None of which have needeed an international class player to 'coach' them. Goalkeepers either have it or they don't. Of course i agree with the age old saying that goalkeepers get better with age. But I'd say that's what's whats happende with Langfield. His kicking is still shite but other that keeping him fit by punting a few dozen balls at him every minute, what else can a "goalkeeping coach" expect to t3each him? Put it this way: who wouldn't want to add langfield's wage to Leightons' wage to buy a better keeper? Show of hands? Nae you Langifeld, you'll jist drap it.

Just arrived in Zagreb 30 mins ago, checked into my hotel, switched on the box and unbeknownst to me; Hearts are in town getting fucked up the arse! Now the question is - do I have an early night so I can get up early tomorrow and go exploring and avoid the unwashed bigot brothers from Gorgie or do I shower, change and go take great delight in watching the masses of unhappy Jambos crying into their pints? Shower time me thinks.

The point is that they wouldn't get the job done. You don't replace architects with dudes who sketch up 2D drawings of kitchen appliances, nor should you replace first team regulars with bench warmers.

That's the sort of shite we've had to endure. Words like "alas", "hopefully", "should have", "we have to wait" and all of which are followed by a pile of question marks. What kind of response do you think dear old Stuartie gets when he goes into his only real interest in life, asking questions about why things are not moving forward? Do you think he'd settle for "Sorry Mr Milne, we've not replaced the main architect to your empire, nor the site manager for your new project but...... geez til January coz we ken a couple muckers fae Homebase up the road fa used tae sketch up kitchen plans and sort oot the warehoose at the wikends. They'll dee!". Would he fuck. But that's what we're faced with each season. Mugs.

Who gives a shit? It's been about 6 months since he last netted one so it's probably his turn.

I'm in Poland at the mo, should be in Berlin tomorrow until the middle of next week.

Probably for the same reason that the mindset of some football fans mean they can't see there's a middle ground between buying big names and bankrupting your club. We don't need to beat everyone in our league to clear our debt a little each year and for the fans to enjoy a day or two in the sun every season to reward their loyalty. Instead he rewards them with a new manager with pocket change to rebuild a squad bit by bit before the knee-jerky-wolves get bored and come hounding at the door for the next change. The fact of the matter is; we don't need to win the league, we don't even need to split the O.F., we just need to beat shite like United, Motherwell, Caley, Dunfermline, QotS, Killie, etc. Sadly Milne thinks progress is to bargain buy each season and hope for the odd gem to be found amongst the shite. Aren't we a lucky bunch? Any 'fan' would have given their last pound to see us back in Europe again having previously sat in the Calderón or Allianz Arena but he obviously isn't up for that. Fuck Milne.

All that aside and if I stop drinking Coca Cola as per glasgowdon's advice; How are a team, who play in a country where you can buy beer, a cross country train ticket, a match stub, a room for the night and still have enough left over to fill your mouth with goulash and boobies before you hit the hay or your wallet is even halfway empty; still able to smash your European hopes to death? Surely to fuck Czech tv aren't paying that much for the rights? Or are they?

So folk were throwing half full plastic cups of lager? At the nets? Knowing the liquid would fall just short of the pitch? Just as Mackie (and Maguire as it so happens) was within throwing distance? Knowing they wouldn't quite reach them? OK.

Obviously missed it Padre but it happened and more than once. The beer certainly made it onto the pitch even if the plastic cup stopped short against the netting. Funny thing was I was wondering before kick-off to whom the netting was going to benefit. Was it to protect the away fans from the home support or visa versa. Little did I imagine it was to stop folk abusing their own players.

I can confirm both these things happened. I was also sickened to see an element of our support ganging up against one or two of their fellow reds. They really should have grown out of that by now, especially considering half of them were struggling to fit into their designer labels due to middleage spread. Saw a few of them over the course of the evening strutting around town like they were carrying invisible tvs under each arm. Late 30s and carrying on like that? Sad as fuck.

If televison money is the answer to our financial problems then I hope we're angling for a fair share of the new deal. By that I mean 1/12th unlike the O.F. monopolised deal they had before. Of course I've got absolutely no faith that this will be the case and we'll be happy to accept the scraps laid out for us. Would Milne stand for that in his building trade? Would he fuck.

I think the "players" should pay the fine.

There's not exactly a queue of folk looking to buy my motor off me but if I slap a For Sale sign on it then I dare say there would be. The club is treading water and stale water at that. It has been during his whole time at the club whilst his business has soared. I'm pretty shite with my own finances so I couldn't get my head round how a team with a stadium that holds 12000, at £12 a ticket, which wasn't even half filled, could afford to buy players that could to comfortably fucked us in the arse to the tune of 8-1. But I dare say Milne and his money men can't either because 'investment' isn't a word they'd be interested in using unless it was towards his own empire.

Well, right then. Taking up an online offer by a flight partner alliance won't interest you and your rolleyes? Fair doos.

Chest, not cock. Guess the tickets are going cheap now?

Wrong. Might be short of time to pull a fast one though. PM me Mini if you want to know how.

I might take you up on that if you're serious. Struggling otherwise as none of my muckers from back home seem to be up for it.

Good work lads! Now, next stupid question: Who's gonna pick me up a ticket, the new home top in a size medium and hand deliver them to me in Olomouc?

No tv as in no legit tv or no tv whatsoever? 450 all going to charter? Seriously? Anyone looked into getting tickets that end?

A'right loons? Sorry for the new thread but I'm short on time and can't be arsed trawling for the info. What time's kick off tonight? Is the game on tv / the web / Redtv / radio? When do the away leg tickets go on sale? Cheers!

1. Mizer 2. Penfold 3. Padre 4. Nellie The Don 5. topcorner 6. ptkdon 7. Mackattack 8. Superstar Tradesman

Skag. Any other daft questions? So far it's been Oslo, Gothenburg, Malmo, Copenhagen, Roskilde, Kalmar, Oskarhamn, Visby. Just had grilled salmon and a bottle of plonk for lunch. This not working shit rocks. Should be docking in Nynashamn shortly then it's onto Stockholm for the next few nights. Or Farmfoods on Gt Northern Rd. Or Dundee. Can't decide.