Superstar Tradesman

I don’t admit to fuck all. It’s ancient fucking history. He’s gone, get over it. Nope, can’t say that I do. Him again? Just to recap – History. Gone. Offski. Would you fuck. I remember only too clearly when we were 4-0 up against Copenhagen and you were bleating about qualifying having only won one game. Again I explained this. Just to recap – Only 14 games played. Season end. Prizes. Who gives a fuck? We weren’t beaten by Wilkie, we were beaten by United. A reserve team with Giggs, Beckham, Pallister……… Again, who is this better man?

The minute we stopped conceding 7 goals to Glasgow teams. The minute we stopped escaping relegation on a technicality. The minute we stopped finishing in the bottom half of the league. The minute we stopped being called 'the Dismal Dons' in every Monday morning paper. The list goes on and on but you only pick the odd upset game here or there which can happen to any team! Get a fucking grip! It happened for about a 2 minute period in a season that wasn't even a bollock hair away from just starting. Even then we were a decimal point away from being in 2nd place. But you concentrate on the negatives Stoney, remember the glass is half empty. That's indicitive of the whole league including the O.F. Why the fuck should we be any different? What God given right do we have to be different from the rest of the SPL? Granted that's none to clever but as far as I'm aware the prizes go to the teams who finish highest in the league and not who beats United the most. Like it or lump it, Wilkie has more Scotland caps than the rest of our team put together and just because Dods is in the team we are facing, doesn't mean we're going to beat them. Man United once got beat 3-0 by York City. Are you still embarrassed about that to this day or do you just look forward to the next game and the league/cup finishes? Seriously man, I wonder why you even bother.

Who is the man for the job then?

I've only read one of his before 'Black and Blue' I think it was, set in Aberdeen as well. I see that you can buy the whole series now as three books in one so I'll probably do that.

18. He wasn't able to tell the difference between Coca Cola and Pepsi in a blindfolded taste test.

Stoney, you're a fuckin' idiot. Getting humped 7-0 and 4-0 isn't the same as "getting humped by shite at home" by the odd result of 2-1 to the likes of United. If you're idea of high expectations is that we have one day in the sun at Hampden and get humped 4-0 then I don't want to be any part of it. JC will take us to Hampden, I'm sure of that. He's already done it with much poorer resources at Dunfermline and when he does, we won't be sitting with no back-up 'keeper on the bench and at the wrong end of a pummeling. Both trips to Hampden under Ebbe were a farce. Nobody gave us a hope in hell of winning, not even one of those fans in the sea of red.

10. Mirrored, signalled, put the radio on then maneuvered.

9. Once put the 'I' before 'E' and not after 'C'.

The best bit about it is it comes in a cover which makes it still feel very much like you're reading a paper/hardback book. If it was just a tablet type thing like a large iPod then I'm not sure I'd be so taken with it. Bazig the hoarder eh...... well there you go.

I've just finished reading 'If You Liked School, You'll Love Work' by Irvine Welsh. Didn't realise it was a collection of short stories until I started reading it but it was a welcomed surprise as I've read some real long winded dirges recently. I also got treated to one of these quite recently - http://www.sony.co.uk/hub/reader-ebook - which is quite frankly - fucking magic!! Why you'd need 160 books on you at any given time is beyond me (it comes with 100 classics already on it) but you can also store music and photos so it's perfect for travelling light or commuting as it slips easily into an inside jacket pocket. Oh, and you don't have to wait for delivery of your books from the likes of Amazon, you can save the rain forests (man) and not wonder what to do with the ever growing pile of books in your house. ;D

Injury prone is what I meant. Every player picks up an injury now and then and the way he puts himself about, crunches into 50/50's and isn't scared to get stuck in shows he's not powder puff. In fact I can't ever remember him ever needing treatment on the park or hobbling off.

Say what you like but the boy has been through about as many managers as Anelka, James Beatie and Jim Hamilton combined (or it certainly feels like it) yet he's still being picked at a regular basis. People in the know, who actually make a living from football want him in their team each week, Caley snapped our hands off for a loan and United were willing to offer him more money. Now you can argue that he's not the most skillful of players, "his second touch is a tackle", etc.... but his workrate, aggression, pace, passion and (believe it or not) ability to score crucial goals means I'm happy he's at our club. Unlike Miller, he doesn't do the pretty things that well but if Miller could get on the score sheet more often then he'd probably not be at AFC. Likewise, to paraphrase JC; if Darren could do the pretty stuff along with what he already offers then he'd not be here. But he is here. He puts the boot in (Aluko?), he's been top scorer a few seasons (Miller?), he's very rarely injured (Smith?), never hides and shows passion (Severin?). I think a lot of folk carry a lot of bad blood with the lad from when he was thrown in at the deep end by Uncle Ebbe and given the lone striker role at age 17. There was far too much pressure on him to perform and when he didn't (because he was only learning his trade) they gave him pelters and still do. Without him we'd be a lot worse off than we are. Doesn't make it a good reason to have him but I've already stated the reasons for doing so. If you told me we were signing a striker that scored once every 3 games, was the top scorer at his club for 2 or 3 seasons, scored goals in European games, played over (X?) hundred of games for his club over a 10 year period and was only just edging up to the 30 year old mark then I'd tell you to lay off the drugs. If you have to boo someone which I'm convinced certain members of our 'support' do, then aim it at those who couldn't get a game ahead of Mackie. It's not because he's got pictures of JC's wife, it's not because he's his love child, it's not for any number of reasons other than he's putting in more effort in training and giving more back in games than Lovell, D'Jaffo, Winters, Z'Drillic, Stewart, Hamilton, Maguire, Wright, the list goes on....... ever did. Take a bow Dazza.

Don't sell him one, he's going to let off flares.

You cunts aren't really getting the hang of this are you? 8. Wore creases down the front of his jeans one time his Mum ironed them for him.

That's so they can lure you all in and then lock you in a cupboard along with the flags.

ICWDFYPM?

7. Never gave anyone his last Rolo, not even once.

6. Returned his bestman's video tape without first rewinding it to the start.

Some points taken but........ Aberdeen-Mad is just as bad for it so I wasn't specifically pointing my finger toward KKK-Chat as I haven't read it in months. Also on the points you made; JC did all that and achieved 3rd place and the last 32 in Europe so why couldn't that formula work again? But that's another topic that's been over a million times before. So back on topic: 5. Sat next to my mate at Virgin Cinema and rustling the tin foil wrappers off Quality Street sweets, even at the quiet bits in the film.

Who?

.....that would mean a 10 page thread on other chatsites lusting for his blood. Apparently he: 1. Left the top off the toothpaste he borrowed from Zander Diamond whilst at Easter Road at the weekend. 2. Only left a 50p tip when he was overheard saying "that wiz fine". 3. Hopped into the 10-Or-Less queue at Tesco when we all know you get 12 tins of lager in a case. 4. Went to view a car he'd spotted on Autotrader then kicked the tyres with his hands in his pockets. 5. ..............

Nae fat enough for you?

Enter Mr Dean Windass.

What's with the blue stripe across Seve's shirt?

Who's the guy on the right?