Superstar Tradesman

You should see my clubbers nipple.

Speaking of which... Just listened to the new Oasis track after I got hold of it last night. 2:15 in sounds like the start of a Strokes song, can't remember which one.

This is going already more boring than the Eoin Jess rumours everytime he moved a muscle down south.

Gracious in defeat.

I love it when people claim you made a mistake when you stitched them up good and proper.

You of all people!

The Verve - Fourth

So where the fuck did this story originate from?! The ref, fans, players, managers and SFA never saw fuck all so who was it? I say we hunt the fucker down and headbutt him.

Yet again the local rag who should be behind the club are sticking it to them.

This is a fucking joke - surely?! The ref or linesman never saw anything, McGhee said he wouldn't be following it up and if it wasn't for the papers going on about the "headbutt that never connected" then why are they even wasting their time looking at it? Maybe they should spend their time looking at footage of stuff that did actually happen and never got punished.

No it wasn't. I'm standing fast on all but the 'Ageing' and 'Reciting' which I think you've got me on.

Yeah what's with that shit? I want to scratch my own eyes out when I read people calling it 'Todders'. Obviously I won't because it would ruin my nails but....

So the SFA are going to use video evidence to see if he attempted to head butt someone but never actually connected. By anyone's standards that's some pretty sensational bollocks.

Probably the fact you've lost your marbles.

I remember the weekend after when Off The Ball ran a competition to see who could come up with the best Scottish football related anagram*. The winner was: A Northern Drunken Youth Clobbers A Mediocre Eentertainer Rambling Orange Nonsense (*is that called an anagram?)

Think that was the last time I saw one of our players being direct.

I'm more interested to find out how many cups they used.

You wrote a book?

Chicks On Speed - We Don't Play Guitars

I hate people who single folk out for one reason or another. So with that in mind, I think you're all a bunch of cunts. Take care. Or don't.

The Charlatans - Stir It Up Possibly one of the best tracks the band have ever made. It just reeks of funk! It's like Sproston Green's big brother!

The sad thing about this is that we're still crying over losing a player about a decade ago. Think of the number of players that have came and went since then and not offered us anything in return for our gate receipts. In fact in that position alone there could be close to 50 player since then calling themselves strikers. I'm not surprised the kids of Aberdeen are turning to the dark side. Who the fuck imagines themselves running around a park, aged 8, shouting "Pasquinelli" as they toe poke the ball between two jumpers? As the Stranglers once sang - no more heroes any more.

I've just tried that and yes, that's what happened. Although I never actually switched it on or off, it just happened and then righted itself.

If only that were true.