Superstar Tradesman

I Am.

Thought Jim Bett was training Celtic youth up in Aberdeen. He was when I gave him a jump-start outside Strikers about 4/5 years ago.

Althought I tend to agree that we should have a scouting network in place, I'd be happy enough if it was targetted at bringing in young players. Whether you think JC and co. can spot a player or not. You can't say that our previous scouts did that great a job.

You never know, he might gel with the team.

Cheeky fucker! Do you think he'll cut it in the first team?

Ker-ching!! Now go and fucking buy someone good for a change!!

Was playing up to start with but I haven't had a problem with it sticking or cutting out for almost a year.

Why is a chef chasing the 'keep Britain tidy' man on the first flag? Maybe they're both nipping the women's toilet chick?

That joke was first told by Neanderthal Men.

Just subscribe to Redtv. It's only about a fiver a month, the cash goes to the club and you'll never have to watch the muck that is Sportscene ever again.

Now I know this may seem a bit radical but we've sold Zander's partner from the middle of defence for £1m and sold Clark for £200k who has been easily replaced going by last night's performance. So how about we actually buy someone? Fat chance mind.

Just looking at his stats now and I have to say, they're pretty impressive. He's averaging 4.3 crossfield interceptions, 10.8 offensive recoveries, 1.17 end zone conversions and only 2.24 fumbles every quarter! Hot dog! Get him signed!!

Maybe a bit early to say, as he's only had one decent game at the back recently (last night) and the whole team played well. Remembered he was too slow at making decisions and kept getting caught out when he started a few games there in the past. Certainly don't seem to miss him in the middle that's for sure.

Hilarity aside. Who the fuck is Joseph Lapira? Which position does he play? First I've heard of this transfer.

He'd better not miss his flight up from presenting The Friday Night Project on the Saturday.

The live chat's still good on matchdays. None of the mods go in there but then again, why would they?

Bummer eh!

You punks should join the party on KKK live chat. Still works for the dirty dozen.

Quite possibly the gayest thing I've ever read: Those Dutchies will try anything eh.

After Saturday's humping, I'd question whether the low prices tonight will be value for money. Time will tell on both counts I suppose.

Keep forgetting to get my sticky paws on this. See what I did there?

This is becoming a bit of a joke. I'm beginning to believe that Jimmy is either smuggling his tax free savings back into the country with these Dutch players that never see the light of day or he's making sure he keeps his double-Dutch up to spec in case he fancies a job over there. If Bus doesn't feature then I'm going to lose the place. We must be getting close to having signed as many players who don't get a game as players who do. Anyone who gives a fuck can continue this list - Currant, JVD, Daal, McFarallan, Touzani, Smith........ Me? I can't even get excited about the next no-mark signing. Pah!

After last weekend's performance, the fact it's midweek and with the amount of games coming thick and fast I wouldn't be surprised by a paultry 6982.

One thing's for sure, if the likes of JDV doesn't get a game tonight then you've got to ask if he's ever going to. Is Desperate Dan Smith still on the books? Maybe he's worth a run out at the back?

Byrne and Touzani need binned asap. Waste of wages.