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Un-PC jokes (If your easily offended don't open)


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Guest leith_red
Posted

:lolabove:

 

I bought my epileptic friend a strobe light for his christmas.

 

He had a fit when he saw it.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

John Travolta is to make a film dedicated to the tragic loss of his son Jett. It will be called Saturday Night Seizure

 

John Travolta's son died in the early hours of Sunday...doctors have ruled out Saturday night fever.

 

Guest leith_red
Posted

It was severe head trauma apparently, he nearly knocked his face off.

 

Had no chance of Staying Alive.

Guest leith_red
Posted

Just a basic domestic disturbance, the experts believe that this will result in a civil action.

 

 

 

It was an unlucky phenomenon for the boy in the plastic bubble bath.

Posted

Slipped on some grease and had a perfect blow out, he let out a shout but in that mad city it wasn't heard. John made a bolt for him, he tried to be cool but moment by moment staying alive was no longer an option, a thin red line of blood appeared on the eyes of an angel.

Posted

Slipped on some grease and had a perfect blow out, he let out a shout but in that mad city it wasn't heard. John made a bolt for him, he tried to be cool but moment by moment staying alive was no longer an option, a thin red line of blood appeared on the eyes of an angel.

If only John could read this. Would definitely result in a face-off.
Guest leith_red
Posted

If only John could read this. Would definitely result in a face-off.

 

Welcome to 7 hours ago :thumbsup:

Posted

A kid came up to me the other day and asked "whats your favourite tellytubby?"

I said the "probably the new Samsung Plasma widescreen you cheeky wee fucker"

 

I'm going to rob a bank tomorrow dressed as a clown in my wives thong and nipple tassles. I'll be carrying a blind 3 legged goat with a dildo up its arse. In the bank the goat's gonna suck me off whilst I throw pig's blood over the room whilst shouting 'big flabby pissflaps'. Once I get the cash I'm gonna shit on the bank managers head and escape in a big pink van shaped like a giant cock

 

Lets see Crimewatch stage a reconstruction of that then!

 

Al Fayed wants to sign Ronaldo for Fulham. Not for his football ability but to show chauffers how to crash safely in tunnels.

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