Sandaldinho Posted June 12, 2010 Report Posted June 12, 2010 Why do birds fly upside down over England? nothing worth shiting on! Quote
glasgowdon Posted July 15, 2010 Report Posted July 15, 2010 I beat my wife at Dominos the other night... ...that'll be the last time she tries to choose the toppings. :-/ Quote
capitalsharpie Posted July 16, 2010 Report Posted July 16, 2010 From now on any higlights of the England V Germany game will now be shown on gaytv as the sight of 11 arseholes getting pumped for nintey minutes has been deemed too pornographic for MOTD Quote
Kowalski Posted October 15, 2010 Report Posted October 15, 2010 At first I thought the sunglasses and counselling being offered to the Chilean miners was a bit OTT. Can spending months in a deep, dark, smelly hole really leave you blind and with mental problems? Then I remembered Harvey Price. Quote
dave_min Posted October 15, 2010 Report Posted October 15, 2010 Tough game for Liverpool at the weekend. Football. Quote
Kowalski Posted December 22, 2010 Report Posted December 22, 2010 A young girl goes to see Santa. Santa says "My you're very tall" She says "Yes I'm 16" He says "That's OK, Santa talks to all children. What do you want for Christmas?" She says "I'm quite embarrassed to ask." "Don't be silly" say Santa. She says "I want some hairs on my fanny!" Santa says "Do you mind if they are white?" Quote
Kowalski Posted January 16, 2011 Report Posted January 16, 2011 Women are like parking spaces. Normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one. Quote
maverick sheep Posted February 20, 2011 Report Posted February 20, 2011 There's nothing worse than waking up in the morning and not remembering the girl's name. Or where you met. Or why she's dead. Quote
mizer Posted February 20, 2011 Report Posted February 20, 2011 There's nothing worse than waking up in the morning and not remembering the girl's name. Or where you met. Or why she's dead. Was this her? Quote
quirie Posted March 15, 2011 Report Posted March 15, 2011 surprised ive not seen any of these on here yet Ellen McArthur is said to be gutted after her round the world yachting record was broken today by a japanese waiter on top of a coffee table My Japanese girlfriend just dumped me. Never mind, there's plenty more in the sea Dont send any money in for the japanese tsunami appeal. They are fucking minted. I've just seen a bloke on tv getting interviewed outside and he has two fucking massive boats on his drive Quote
dave_min Posted May 2, 2011 Report Posted May 2, 2011 ? Saddam Hussein ? Osama Bin Laden ? Neil Lennon Quote
baggy89 Posted May 11, 2011 Report Posted May 11, 2011 Kate McCann's got a nice tan, must have been lying in the sun all week. Quote
Kowalski Posted May 15, 2011 Report Posted May 15, 2011 I certainly won't beheading to Tenerife anytime soon. Quote
Harcus Posted May 15, 2011 Report Posted May 15, 2011 A book just fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame. Quote
Rebus30 Posted May 17, 2011 Report Posted May 17, 2011 A book just fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame. +1 for so daft it's funny Quote
manc_don Posted August 29, 2011 Report Posted August 29, 2011 Reports of both paedophilia and bestiality are coming in from Manchester. Apparently over 70,000 witnessed the raping of a frog and 11 kids. Quote
TENEMENTFUNSTER Posted October 23, 2011 Report Posted October 23, 2011 Last time someone wearing a Man U strip got so badly fucked Ian Huntley got sent down for it. Quote
Kowalski Posted October 23, 2011 Report Posted October 23, 2011 What do Colonel Gadaffi and Freddie Mercury have in common? They both died after some guy shot into their sewage pipe! Quote
TENEMENTFUNSTER Posted October 23, 2011 Report Posted October 23, 2011 What's black and got 2 broken arms? Gadaffi's sunglasses. Quote
Madbadteacher Posted October 24, 2011 Report Posted October 24, 2011 Whats shit and read All Uk Tabloaids! Quote
Kowalski Posted March 23, 2012 Report Posted March 23, 2012 Me and my daughter were watching a film when she turned and said "Is that woman going to die daddy?" I replied "Judging by the size of that horses cock, I would say she will love!" Quote
caledonia Posted March 24, 2012 Report Posted March 24, 2012 What's black and got 2 broken arms? Racist Quote
bloo_toon_red Posted December 12, 2012 Report Posted December 12, 2012 Video killed the radio star. So the radio killed a nurse. Quote
TENEMENTFUNSTER Posted December 13, 2012 Report Posted December 13, 2012 Breaking News. Nurse Jucintha Sadanhas has turned up safe and well. In a phone call to an Australian radio broadcaster she said "Beat that for a fuckin wind up" Quote
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