Jump to content

Boxing Day - kick-off 3pm

Scottish Premiership - Kilmarnock v Aberdeen

Stuff wot i found on teh internetz


Recommended Posts

Posted

http://decentcommunity.org/2009/05/05/women-dies-after-using-jackhammer-as-dildo/[/url

 

Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo

 

Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

 

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,†Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

 

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.†The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

 

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostiution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplanted her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

 

Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.â€

 

:lolabove:

  • Replies 987
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Guest Nellie The Don
Posted

Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer As Dildo

 

1.44am, after returning drunk from a disappointing football match.

 

What EXACTLY did you type into google?

 

You fuckin' sicko. :P

  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Nellie The Don
Posted

Yer ma's a moped

Yer ma's a moped

Andrew's mother is a moped.

  • 4 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...