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Sunday 1st December 2024 - kick-off 3pm

Scottish Premiership - Hearts v Aberdeen

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Posted

A match report written by DT's Azteca (aka Tilda Swinton). Guess which one he is in the report...

 

Red Stars Baagrade today hit Sandbank Rangers for six in a devastating display. A well-taken hat-trick from stalwart centre-forward Stuart Clay put the visitors to the sword, equalling the club’s biggest ever victory in the process.

 

The victory was made all the more impressive by the depleted nature of the Red Stars squad, with injuries, absence and unusual 80s nightclub accidents limiting the available pool to just 11, plus an unused substitute with a hamstring made of pulled pork.

 

Lining up in 3-5-2 for the second week on the trot, but hoping for a better result than the 2-0 loss at Kilmarnock last time out (obviously), the Dons started as brightly as can be expected at lunchtime on a Sunday in the teeth of a sideways gale.

 

The first threat on goal came as a Red Stars free-kick was partially cleared to the edge of the area, only for centre-half Callan to launch into an acrobatic bicycle kick. By how far it missed the target by is neither here nor there, the sheer audacity of the effort sparked an unmistakable a trickle-down effect on his team-mates’ confidence in their own ability, propelling them on to victory.

 

The actual scoring stared shortly afterwards. Owain Harries, who was being afforded serious clumps of space down the left flank, burrowed forward and broke into the Rangers penalty area. Though the ‘keeper got a hand to his finish, it wasn’t enough to prevent the Dons taking an early lead.

 

They didn’t have long to wait for a second either, Clay collecting the first of his historic treble. A near-enough trademark burst into the box from Shaw saw him very nearly doubler the lead himself, with a neat lob landing on the crossbar and rebounding to apparent safety. Clay recovered the situation from a near-impossible angle though, bundling home from beyond the far post to put the Dons in the driving seat.

 

The second prompted something of a fightback from the other lot, with a handful of penalty box stramashes from a series of corners giving the Reds sufficient warning to focus on the task in hand. The contest was all but settled as they grabbed a third on the break though, taking the wind out of Rangers’ sails like a statement to the London Stock Exchange. Good work from distinctive and able foil Jamie MacIntosh setting up Claymar for a cool finish.

 

[!]8232;There was still time in the half for Dons ‘keeper Alan Hamilton to keep the opposition at bay with a fine save from close range. He along with centre-half Matt Pirie, were excellent in just their second appearances.

 

Following some half time notes of caution from Gaffer Dixon - for the three goal lead, some of the composure on the ball was akin to a blind calf navigating a busy A-road - Red Stars re-emerged knowing there was still work to be done. And they knew just they guy to do it.

 

Clay was on hand once again, claiming the matchball with a neat volley at the back post. Were it not for the fact that they cost the guts of fifty quid each and they generally get lost in undergrowth around various 3g parks in Glasgow following shooting practice in training. Nonetheless, the Hyndland Di Natale took the adulation with typical humility, pausing only to take his phone out of his sock and text his girlfriend the good news.

 

Four soon became five, as Shaw turned in a long throw with his thigh from close range. “It basically just hit me,” he admitted afterwards, adding unconvincingly, “but I DID mean it.”

 

It mattered not, and Red Stars began to play with renewed confidence and expressiveness, undeterred by a vicious hailstorm and some vicious tackling. Shaw, Ford and Callan in particular were on the end of some euphemistically robust challenges.

 

One such foul provided Jamie MacIntosh with a chance to round off the scoring with a free-kick 20-odd yards out, one he took with understated composure, curling past the wall into the bottom corner.

 

It was enough to conclude a veritable rout against Rangers, one well worthy of its place in the pantheon of Dons triumphs over that nasty pantomime villain bunch from Glasgow. Just below all the real ones, anyway.

 

Red Stars: Hamilton; Ford, Pirie, Callan; Rae, Young, Shaw, R. MacDonald, Harries; J. MacIntosh, Clay. Sub not used: Smith/quote]

 

Well done lads, you were superb.

Posted

It was until recently mate.  We had gone 7 months or so undefeated (across 2 seasons). In the new season we found ourselves top of the league then all of a sudden we had a few defeats on the bounce, a couple of players left and things were really up in the air.

 

We got a couple of new players in and things are looking good again. Really good bunch of boys and all willing to work hard which makes it much easier for me thankfully.  I'm really enjoying taking them this season, when we play well we play some great stuff.  Rangers are one of the (traditional) strong teams in the league and to batter them so badly today says a lot for our lads, considering we were missing 5 or 6 players.  To have a Rangers manager say to you "Well done, you should have won by more" after a 6-0 win is quite a nice feeling in life  ;D

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