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Wednesday 30th October 2024 - kick-off 8pm

Scottish Premiership: Aberdeen v Rangers

Double WYOWYN


Buc

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Oh i do!

 

Remember a night out in the Broch, and got in a taxi with a very very large lass, and landed back at her house, where she gave me a plate o lasagne and some garlic breed, as i ate it she disappeared and when i shouted that was lovely, now time for a taxi home, i turned and here she was standing butt naked in the door way, now i was sobbering up and the sight was not good!

 

Now i am a big lad, 6f 6" and biult like a brick shithouse, this woman threw me about like a rag doll and abused me, little malaga wouldnt rise and she chomped on him like it was a packet o opel fruits, that didnt work and wasnt going to, the pain and suffocation was horrendous, until she rammed her fingers right up the non return valve, fucking hell i hut the roof!

 

When i finally got free, she lay there smoking a fag, as i was battered,bruised, looking to see if i still had a stroop and walking like John Wayne.

 

Never Again.   

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Reminds me of Auld Years night 1982 when my mate set me up with a blind date goin to a party. The bastard had persuaded me to run with it as he was banging her best friend. I was told she was the spittin image of Trisha Yates out of Grange Hill, so I splashed out on 2 bottles of Blue Nun as well as my supply of Tartan Special and looked forward to celebrating the New Year with a bang.

However on actually meeting the quine she looked more like Jess Yates out of Stars on Sunday ( go google all you young eens). Wearing a f@ckin ra ra skirt with legs like Willie Miller.

Surprisingly she turned out to be a right dirty hoor and I'dve went back for more if i could have worn a blindfold and not have to parade her around town.

A few years later she was about 25 stone ( no surprise tbh) and apparently she died in her early 30s.

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Reminds me of Auld Years night 1982 when my mate set me up with a blind date goin to a party. The bastard had persuaded me to run with it as he was banging her best friend. I was told she was the spittin image of Trisha Yates out of Grange Hill, so I splashed out on 2 bottles of Blue Nun as well as my supply of Tartan Special and looked forward to celebrating the New Year with a bang.

However on actually meeting the quine she looked more like Jess Yates out of Stars on Sunday ( go google all you young eens). Wearing a f@ckin ra ra skirt with legs like Willie Miller.

Surprisingly she turned out to be a right dirty hoor and I'dve went back for more if i could have worn a blindfold and not have to parade her around town.

A few years later she was about 25 stone ( no surprise tbh) and apparently she died in her early 30s.

 

Jesus min! I gave you a Simmie as soon as i'd read the Willie Miller comment then i read on to the end and now i'm feeling a bit confused about it all.....  :frown:

 

EDIT to say.... No Buc, i widna be interested in coupin that! Face isna bad but she's bound to be a bit sweaty... nae for me.

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Jesus min! I gave you a Simmie as soon as i'd read the Willie Miller comment then i read on to the end and now i'm feeling a bit confused about it all.....  :frown:

 

EDIT to say.... No Buc, i widna be interested in coupin that! Face isna bad but she's bound to be a bit sweaty... nae for me.

 

 

Ah that's a shame I take it you haven't had a larger lady  :dunno:

 

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Bahahahaha! Maaga min ats a belter oh a story! Near enough spat oot ma bucky in shock readin at! bloody close story to one oh ma ain near death experiences, but my whale bid in sandhaven n ah didnae get ony lasagne! greedy cow!  Broch quines really do stand in a league oh there ain!!

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