Buc Posted October 18, 2016 Report Posted October 18, 2016 Yeeeees as get in Fat is good very fat is the best http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2161971/Fat-Beautiful-pageant-18st-pageant-queens-fatten-crowned-Miss-Large.html Quote
Buc Posted October 18, 2016 Author Report Posted October 18, 2016 No, Behave min Buc No You don't know what you are missing oh I remember the day . Quote
MálagaSheep Posted October 18, 2016 Report Posted October 18, 2016 Oh i do! Remember a night out in the Broch, and got in a taxi with a very very large lass, and landed back at her house, where she gave me a plate o lasagne and some garlic breed, as i ate it she disappeared and when i shouted that was lovely, now time for a taxi home, i turned and here she was standing butt naked in the door way, now i was sobbering up and the sight was not good! Now i am a big lad, 6f 6" and biult like a brick shithouse, this woman threw me about like a rag doll and abused me, little malaga wouldnt rise and she chomped on him like it was a packet o opel fruits, that didnt work and wasnt going to, the pain and suffocation was horrendous, until she rammed her fingers right up the non return valve, fucking hell i hut the roof! When i finally got free, she lay there smoking a fag, as i was battered,bruised, looking to see if i still had a stroop and walking like John Wayne. Never Again. Quote
donsdaft Posted October 18, 2016 Report Posted October 18, 2016 :laughing: Too graphic Malaga min Quote
Gervaise_Brookhampster Posted October 18, 2016 Report Posted October 18, 2016 You dinnastill have her number Malaga do you? THe winner of that competition would get it! Contestant number 1 not so much! Quote
MálagaSheep Posted October 18, 2016 Report Posted October 18, 2016 Call me she said, Fuck you i said Quote
Ten Caat Posted October 18, 2016 Report Posted October 18, 2016 Reminds me of Auld Years night 1982 when my mate set me up with a blind date goin to a party. The bastard had persuaded me to run with it as he was banging her best friend. I was told she was the spittin image of Trisha Yates out of Grange Hill, so I splashed out on 2 bottles of Blue Nun as well as my supply of Tartan Special and looked forward to celebrating the New Year with a bang. However on actually meeting the quine she looked more like Jess Yates out of Stars on Sunday ( go google all you young eens). Wearing a f@ckin ra ra skirt with legs like Willie Miller. Surprisingly she turned out to be a right dirty hoor and I'dve went back for more if i could have worn a blindfold and not have to parade her around town. A few years later she was about 25 stone ( no surprise tbh) and apparently she died in her early 30s. Quote
donsdaft Posted October 18, 2016 Report Posted October 18, 2016 A sad end to that story ten caat min but I admit to laughing at the Wuillie Miller comment Quote
Three Crazz Posted October 18, 2016 Report Posted October 18, 2016 A sad end to that story ten caat min but I admit to laughing at the Wuillie Miller comment I'll admit to having ago at a lass we legs as hairy as Willie Millers, It's the tash and curly perm I'd rather forget Quote
MálagaSheep Posted October 18, 2016 Report Posted October 18, 2016 I could tell you all another story, but will save that for another day! Quote
1903_Redz Posted October 19, 2016 Report Posted October 19, 2016 Reminds me of Auld Years night 1982 when my mate set me up with a blind date goin to a party. The bastard had persuaded me to run with it as he was banging her best friend. I was told she was the spittin image of Trisha Yates out of Grange Hill, so I splashed out on 2 bottles of Blue Nun as well as my supply of Tartan Special and looked forward to celebrating the New Year with a bang. However on actually meeting the quine she looked more like Jess Yates out of Stars on Sunday ( go google all you young eens). Wearing a f@ckin ra ra skirt with legs like Willie Miller. Surprisingly she turned out to be a right dirty hoor and I'dve went back for more if i could have worn a blindfold and not have to parade her around town. A few years later she was about 25 stone ( no surprise tbh) and apparently she died in her early 30s. Jesus min! I gave you a Simmie as soon as i'd read the Willie Miller comment then i read on to the end and now i'm feeling a bit confused about it all..... EDIT to say.... No Buc, i widna be interested in coupin that! Face isna bad but she's bound to be a bit sweaty... nae for me. Quote
Buc Posted October 19, 2016 Author Report Posted October 19, 2016 Jesus min! I gave you a Simmie as soon as i'd read the Willie Miller comment then i read on to the end and now i'm feeling a bit confused about it all..... EDIT to say.... No Buc, i widna be interested in coupin that! Face isna bad but she's bound to be a bit sweaty... nae for me. Ah that's a shame I take it you haven't had a larger lady Quote
Obanred Posted October 20, 2016 Report Posted October 20, 2016 I could tell you a story about a night with a rather large, skinheaded bird, but i dinna hae the time. Lets just say there wisnae a hair on her hael body and she liked all holes filled. She wis prettygood actually and i went back for mare a few times. Quote
Ritchie Posted October 20, 2016 Report Posted October 20, 2016 Bahahahaha! Maaga min ats a belter oh a story! Near enough spat oot ma bucky in shock readin at! bloody close story to one oh ma ain near death experiences, but my whale bid in sandhaven n ah didnae get ony lasagne! greedy cow! Broch quines really do stand in a league oh there ain!! Quote
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