Things that really annoy you

[rocket_scientist]

Weegies who say sangwiches.

 

Guffs who pronounce issues iss-ee-yews. Nobody did that like Ed Milliband.

[Garlogie_Granite]

Weegies who say sangwiches.

 

Defi-NET-ly 

[Garlogie_Granite]

...and the letter J, it's 'jay' not 'jai' 

[Ten Caat]

Sob stories in the press that in the last paragraph contain a link to a crowdfunding site begging for cash.....especially those that are about arseholes having medical mishaps abroad that have no insurance ( or have done something so incredibly stupid that it negates their insurance).....

[1903_Redz]

Folk that don't know their fitba but try and talk fitba with you because they know you're obsessed. While it's nice of them to try and talk to you about a subject that they know you're into it's fucking annoying when they start making bland statements and coming out with mentally out of date shit... i just try and change the subject as these convos boil my piss.

 

On a similar subject, i see this guy almost every morning when out walking the dogs, he usually wears an AFC beanie hat and so for that reason alone i did make the effort to speak to him. It was the week in the run up to the skittery farts game at Murrayfield, convo went...

Me: F'like, are you going down to Murrayfield this weekend?

Him: Eh?!

Me: (repeat)

Him: No... no, are Scotland playing? It's a place i've always wanted to go tho.

Me: No! The Dons are playing Hearts there...

Him: Oh are they?

Me: ....... a'right, better get these dogs walked, see ye.

 

Dinna wear a Dons tourie in the vicinity of a Dons fanatic if you don't know the first thing about them! 

[rocket_scientist]

Folk that don't know their fitba but try and talk fitba with you because they know you're obsessed.

 

Maybe he was just trying to be polite. Which has never been a crime. But yes, can be very annoying.

 

Key here is not to be obsessed. I've attended three quarters of a thousand AFC games but I wouldn't describe myself as obsessed. Once upon a time in the Royal Granite Dreichness, I may have described myself so. But obsession with something over which you have no control is not just fruitless but dangerous to ones mental health and delegation of responsibility for something so personal will never do.

 

 

PS: I've never counted them. It won't be exact. I'm not an anorak. It will be over 700 but less than 800.

[tom_widdows]

Not sure it if has been mentioned already but the bizarre habit of sending emails from your smartphone when you require something 'urgently' rather than selecting that little keypad, punching in some numbers and speaking to the person.

 

A typical example is;

'I've got a meeting in 10mins/ I'm currently sat with someone: can you please send/ confirm 'something''.

This is usually CC'd into as many people as possible for which I now assume is the senders attempt at showing they were being pro-active and you are the person hindering them for having the gall not to be glued to your work email.

 

These people also tend to send emails about 1min after refusing to answer your attempted telephone call.

 

 

[rocket_scientist]

The wearing of poppies by people who never consider the origins of war.

 

He didn’t see the poppies grow down in Flanders Field,

It was over in Afghanistan where they cheered a record yield.

A bumper crop of skag that would spread across the earth,

Compared to wealth and power, our lives have little worth.

Was he fighting for the Queen, America or Shell?

When the lines are blurred, all shades of grey, no way that he could tell.

The War on Terror, the War on Drugs, it’s all a filthy lie,

Because there is no honour in queuing up to die.

For nations, flags and worthless men,

One hundred years since world War One and here we are are again.

His search for pride and virtue, all ended with a blast,

He trod upon an IED and now his future is the past.

Although he’s three years older, he’s still just twenty-one,

His life already over before it had begun.

And now his mam weeps bitter tears as she empties out his pan,

Of the stinking shit that gurgles from her broken damaged man.

Still, he got a medal and a poppy that he could wear,

When they wheeled him to the cenotaph where all the children stare.

At the empty space where once he had two legs like you and me,

Exchanged in wilful  ignorance so profit might be free.

To carry on destroying lives for power and their greed,

A war upon their wars is the only war we need.

Kill the Other, kill him now and make your country proud,

Their token thanks is all you’ll get when they wrap you in your shroud.

Then you can join the ranks of the millions gone before,

Nameless, faceless forgotten dead; no one’s keeping score.

A dozen here a thousand there, they really just don’t care,

As long as you keep dying so they can get their share.

So stuff their poppies, stuff their wars and stuff their tunes of glory,

They’ll never care about you and me, it’s the same old dirty story.

 

https://harrypaterson.com/2014/11/11/tunes-of-glory/

 

Even that Kirkcaldy wank Broon was stating the obvious yesterday re the war in Iraq.

 

Although with a different spin, being “misled” into it. Lying cunt.

[RicoS321]

Fantastic poem. Wasn't aware of his blog/site, cheers.

[rocket_scientist]

Fantastic poem. Wasn't aware of his blog/site, cheers.

 

Neither was I until the wife sent me it last week. She's good at "following" the right stuff on social media whereas I'm rarely on it and have never had a Facebook thingy. She sends me the stuff she knows I'll be interested in.

[Garlogie_Granite]

Cunts that don't wave an acknowledgement when you wave them through on the roads. Is it really that difficult for you to lift your index finger off the wheel for the slightest of thank yous?

[rocket_scientist]

My days of reading CV’s are in the past thankfully but having read 20,000+, I can pass on some wisdom on this topic.

 

People who use the words “interpersonal skills” when trying to promote themselves. It’s not as much annoying as it’s sad. They never got an interview if it was in their CV and they never got the job if they came out with it during an interview. In the latter case, what was particularly annoying was that they had got past the initial screening process in order to be able to utter those words in my presence.

[Madbadteacher]

Having to send a resume (as they're ca'ad here) for a job even though you cover everything in it in an online application!

Thankfully I'm happy in my job here so it's now a moot point, but still, fit a fankle!

[Guest kiriakovisthenewstrachan]

Bullshit phrases like "heads up", "touching base" and the like.

 

[Guest kiriakovisthenewstrachan]

...............and the facebook generation.

[Guest kiriakovisthenewstrachan]

.........and managers who play wingers on the wrong side of the pitch so they can't cross the ball with their proper foot.  Who started that idea anyway? 

 

Hope you're reading this for Saturday Del. 

[rocket_scientist]

Xmas jumpers annoy the fuck out of me. Our 16 year old, and indeed the whole school, were told to wear an Xmas jumper to school today. She didn't have one and when we were going to toon yesterday - us three to eat, her to go shopping - she said she was going to buy one. Are ye fuck, I counselled her. It's her money she can do what she wants argued her mother. I gave it my best shot for the rest of the drive in and I was pwoud when she did not purchase said item. Don't see the point for something I'm only going to wear one day a year she said.

 

If you're wearing said jumper this year, not only do I not like them, I don't like you. Bah humbuggery.

 

 

[tom_widdows]

Car manufacturers no longer providing spare wheels as standard on modern cars.

Have a 2011 car and one of the reasons I picked it over the slightly new model was mine has a space saver spare wheel in the boot. The newer one only came with this 'type repair kit' shite and they were quoting some staggering amount to have a spare wheel installed.

 

Last wednesday 4 of my 5 a side team failed to make it to the game because of a serious puncture and the type repair kit (think it was a Nissan qashqai) wasn't enough to fix it.

 

Don't know which genius decided on the removal of spare wheels as standard but personally I think this should be illegal.

 

 

In addition those who do have a spacesaver spare and will leave it on their cars presumably until their MOT comes up rather than bothering to get their proper wheel/tyre repaired.

 

Side note: once had someone tell me they were worried about using their space saver as apparently it would only last for 50miles and then they would have to change it. They looked really confused when I said the 'max 50mph' label on the wheel meant speed.

[rocket_scientist]

My wife is annoying me now. She knows I’m bah humbug at this time of year and so to go to lunch with her mates today, she’s wearing this Xmas stuff in her hair and her earrings are like wee red boxes that obviously have a wee bell in them. Every time she moves, there’s a tinkling rattle.

 

I’ll give her her due. As I was imploring her to get that shite aff, she says won’t, and anyway, I’m not going out with you. The killer was “I’m going to jingle when I mingle”. It might have made me laff if I wasn’t so buggered of the hum variety.

[rocket_scientist]

Another thing that annoys me is a gaggle of the middle classes, a collection of wannabes.

 

Example; I was going to the bank at Queens Cross and popped in to the cafe on St Swithin Street. Their porridge is very good at breakfast time and it's pretty good for coffees and snacks etc. It was the third or fourth time I'd been in but the clientele make me cry. It was strikingly blonde at the tables outside and as usual, the middle class wifies with their coiffured hairs always check you out as you walk in. Some are quite good looking on first appearance but they're ugly in soul. They're married to money, presumably oil money in many cases and they can't be happy with their lives, however much they pretend that they are in their safe comfortable existences with better than average houses, cars and clothes. If they were happy, they wouldn't have such banale and uninteresting conversations. By the time they work out that consumption and materialism doesn't satisfy the soul, it will be too late. They will have bred further shit people who don't take risks and who follow a prescribed route to "comfort".

 

So yeah, let's stick the ugly Aberdeen middle classes into room 101. 

[RicoS321]

Yesterday morning? I was also at said cafe. I try not to make eye contact with those suspicious types that sit outside. They're there to be seen.

[rocket_scientist]

Yesterday morning? I was also at said cafe. I try not to make eye contact with those suspicious types that sit outside. They're there to be seen.

 

Haha. I do make eye contact with those idiots who are there to be seen. I want them to see how disinterested I am in them. Yes yesterday about 10 to 10.30. You weren't the wanker in the Barbour jacket sitting through the back with an ugly woman? If you were, sorry for calling you a wanker (just now, I wouldn't be so rude to say what I think publicly... these days anyway) and sorry for describing the woman you were with as such but she wisna bonnie. Fuck I'm a terrible man.

 

I just have an irrational hatred of those Barbour jackets that stamp the brand in our faces. We can spend 50% more on a jacket that is three times as good and twenty five times more style, without having its maker splashed all over it.

[donsdaft]

But, these wifies, an original thought never goes through their mind.

 

 

They're probably comparing tranquillisers.

 

 

Stupid, discontented, expensive and worst of all ( if they were pretty when they were younger) in a permanent state of panic.

[rocket_scientist]

Not the first time you've mentioned tranqs and anti-depressants. I know it's a big issue these days but fortunately I don't know anyone who's on them.

 

These women, all in their late 30's early 40's didn't strike me as being on pills. They were pretty in their youth, in an external, first glance kind of way but being from safe houses themselves, only had gold-digging or comfort-seeking as their main goal. Panic in their souls rings true though.

[rocket_scientist]

Inspired by my recounting of yesterday, just got the wife to make me porridge. She does it well but doesn't offer it often enough. I bet it cost less than £2.50 too. Must learn to make it myself. Can't be difficult. Only takes minutes.

 

My laziness in the kitchen goes into room 101 too. Making the Melba toast on Xmas days is the only constructive thing I've done in there for decades. By casting this sloth of mine into the abyss, I am going to rise like a phoenix and start doing shit in the kitchen that the family can enjoy. Maybe. I'll start by looking after myself more first instead of eating out all the time.